The Union Recorder

Columns

April 26, 2014

ROWLAND: In the interest of public service, I anxiously await the call

MILLEDGEVILLE —

I have considered placing the following classified ad in all of the Washington, D.C. area newspapers:

One seasoned veteran bureaucrat eligible for service. Battle tested. Willing to make tough decisions. Not much experience with Internal Revenue Service regulations but can read. Simple-minded leadership style with long history of a common sense approach. Salary negotiable but well worth every dime you’ll pay. No references necessary … just ask anybody.

I generally shy away from politics or open criticism of my fellow government workers, but this is just one case I couldn’t let go. The Associated Press has reported that the United State Treasury’s Inspector General discovered that the IRS paid out $2.8 million in bonuses to employees with recent disciplinary problems. This figure includes $1 million to workers who owed back taxes.

Are you kidding me?

Just so you know, I am the least intelligent person in the room. I have a mortgage, two cars … no, wait … three cars, a wife, a dog, a job, and many other responsibilities too numerous to mention. I have a calendar on my wall and one each on my two smart phones. I also have a calendar on my computer at work and one on my home laptop.

Missing April 15 is simply not possible. And explain this to me. How can you work for the organization that has made its fortune on a single date and not know that the same responsibility applies to you?

You know the answer as well as I. In most cases of which I am aware, misappropriation of public funds will land you in jail. In this case, the IRS issued a statement that changes were on the way … as long as they are approved by the employee’s union.

I repeat, ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I am reminded of a quote from Popeye: “I can stands what I can stands, and I can’t stands no more!”

So, I humbly submit to the President this limited, one-time offer to personally come to Washington and save the IRS from the tyranny of stupid decisions.

I anxiously sit by the phone… .

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