The Union Recorder


September 7, 2013

ROWLAND: Give ‘em an inch, and they might just take our rivers



But I digress.

The more I think about the whole annexation thing, the thought of owning Florida really doesn’t appeal to me. We already have Atlantic Ocean frontage, and apparently owning a bay or a gulf is pretty labor intensive. 

It rains every afternoon during the summer, and it never really gets cold enough to kill all of those summer bugs. Besides: We would have to rename the University of Florida something like the University of Really, Really South Georgia. Just doesn’t have much of a ring to it.

Just so you know, Alabama was part of Georgia back in 1783 as was Mississippi. By 1802, we had ceded the land that eventually became both states to the federal government, which might explain a lot if you give it any thought.

At least Alabama has a little sentimental value.

On the bright side, annexing Alabama back into the friendly confines of Georgia heritage would at least give us access to Tuscaloosa. The University of Alabama football team already wears a shade of red, so it wouldn’t be too much of a shock on them ole’ boys when we put ‘em in silver britches and add a little black as an accent color.

And what the heck is a Crimson Tide anyway? And what’s up with an elephant for a mascot? The Mobile Bay doesn’t interest me at all, but telling Nick Saban he’s fired and we’re making bulldogs out of all of his boys has a certain appeal to me.

On second thought, maybe we ought to just leave that as it is. After all, we owe ourselves an SEC Championship rematch.

Needless to say, I don’t have the answer to who gets our water, how much of it they get, or who is responsible if a few shellfish croak. You gotta be careful, however. Give ‘em the Chattahoochee and the next thing you know they will want the Oconee to go along with it!


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