With those two incidents in mind let me outline explicitly some of the things I prefer as gift ideas. If you are getting me socks, get white ones instead of black. White socks are more versatile. You can wear them while working, hunting, fishing and even to church if you are sly – plus they don’t make my feet stink as badly. When it comes to footwear I’ll take tennis shoes over loafers every time, and if you’ve decided on a subscription to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution or the Athens Banner-Herald I want the paper version as opposed to the *&^% $# (six letter word for appalling) online version. I want a newspaper I can carry around in my back pocket all day and pull out the sports page at will.
If you happen to be thinking along the lines of outdoor wear I’ll take some plain old gray sweatshirts, a camo jacket, drab green or brown coveralls with deep pockets, or a pair of boots with regular old fashioned laces.
I’m probably a hypocrite because I have a strict preference for fancy bait casting reels over cane poles, plastic worms over live ones, and boats with motors over those that have to be paddled. Furthermore, I would rather have a camper that has heating, air conditioning and soft beds as opposed to the smothering hot or freezing cold confines of a pup tent on hard ground.
Golf is another area in which I’m quickly becoming a techno-geek. You could send me a driver that will add distance to my ever diminishing length off the tee, balls that produce extra roll, or a set of irons that hold the promise of straight shots.
So despite my moaning about stuff that’s new age I really am coming around into the modern era of sporting equipment. I might even be able to, at some point, learn to like other things of the modern variety. I’m pretty sure however that I’ll never learn to accept black socks, elaborate phones, books on gizmo screens or newspapers that are on a computer.
It will take a few more lustrums before those things happen.
Alvin Richardson can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org