MILLEDGEVILLE — Even though we are getting ready pronounce our New Year’s resolutions I bet you don’t know the real historical background. Now don’t hold me to this ‘cause some embarrassing errors might be found, but this is what I heard.
It all got started way back in late December 1777 when George Washington’s wife Martha began pointing out some of his shortcomings. Now at that point old George was just the commander of the Continental Army — he had not yet become president so he couldn’t really issue an executive order to get her to cease and desist. GW’s primary goal at that time was to win the Revolutionary War not fight a “Resolutionary War.”
Anyhow, Martha made several observations on how her husband could better himself. Her major gripes were 1.) His wig was dreadful; 2.) Those white stockings made him look feminine; and 3.) He had no business trying to take those boys out to fight at Valley Forge in the cold weather. She encouraged the general to make amends on those points going forward. Of course George, like many husbands of past and present completely ignored her, but he did come up with his own resolutions. He decided to win the war, become president and go down in history as a Founding Father. Washington’s resolutions were so extraordinarily successful that it encouraged others to try out the idea. Thus was born the ritual of New Year’s Resolutions.
Skipping to the present day I too share General Washington’s pain. My wife has made some resolutions on my behalf and they are as follows:
Get a new truck
Get some new clothes
Quit spending more money on fishing stuff than clothes
Go to a hairstylist
Quit chewing tobacco and leaving little spittoons around the house
Since I’m not a commanding general or reigning president I have less power to completely ignore her so in the interest of fair play here’s an argument for both sides.